Coworkers that Care

8 Jan

I struggled a lot with my eating disorder this morning. Alone in the apartment after my brother left, I gave into the urge to purge and wound up going to work with no nutrition to fuel my day. Although purging brings about a sense of immediate relief, I feel the negative effects by the time I put the key in the restaurant door. The day gets off to literally, a very shaky, start. Probably from the extreme flux in blood sugar levels and electrolytes, not to mention the dehydration, all my limbs turn cold and shivery and I feel like I have NO energy whatsoever. After downing a cup of joe from the espresso machine I feel better, but still not solid, like on the days I manage to fix and keep down breakfast.

Today, though, I borrowed strength from the genuine care I felt from the coworkers I consider a second family at the restaurant. This morning, I received a call from Yonna, which ended with her saying, ” I care so much about you and you are so important to me, darling… make sure you take care of yourself this week.” After struggling so much this morning, it was a blessing to hear. It reminded me of how much we touch each others lives and how devastated the ones I love would be if I lost this battle with anorexia.

Her words carried me through the rest of the day. After work, instead of bingeing and purging, like the ED was screaming at me too, I took care of myself and drove to Whole Foods before picking up my mom for the day. I filled my little green basket with a loaf of chia seed bread, chocolate almond milk packs that I can take on the go, protein shakes for work, and a steaming cup of white bean and kale soup that I devoured on the ride home. Later, I was again alone and heard the tiny, demonic voice growing again… “You don’t need to make dinner… you already haven’t been perfect today, so just skip it and start again tomorrow.” But I remembered Yonna’s words and set out to make myself something nourishing.

As I lounge on the couch typing this, my stomach is gurgling it’s thanks to Yonna’s kind words. I am anxious, yet proud of myself and my body is quite content. It’s filled with a bowl of steamed brussel sprouts and a homemade whole wheat biscuit, both smothered in a creamy, nutty, corn gravy, as well as crisp side salad topped by rasberry dressing. The thick and hearty dinner was four stars… grounding and soothing on such a cold, gray day here in Austin.

She may never know, but Yonna’s verbal expression of love gave me enough strength to make the most loving choice for myself; I realized I will never be able to care for others if I’m not healthy and still here. This week, my challenge for myself and you, is to tell someone, besides your immediate family, significant other, or close friends, what they mean to you and encourage them to take time to care for themselves.

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2 Responses to “Coworkers that Care”

  1. Mr WordPress January 8, 2011 at 10:58 PM #

    Hi, this is a comment.
    To delete a comment, just log in, and view the posts’ comments, there you will have the option to edit or delete them.

  2. Courage January 11, 2011 at 1:03 AM #

    Many people care about you, and sometimes you just need to believe they do. Not everyone is going to tell you how much you mean to them, but that doesn’t mean there lives would be completely changed if your presence was no longer around. Realizing that you are important and make a difference in the world, with or with out being told, will help with this battle. You are full of so much greatness, and you are so amazing and beautiful. You are not just another person on this world, not just another number or statistic, but someone’s world…many people’s world. You are a prize, and anyone that was blessed to have you in there life some way or another is better because of it. Life isn’t easy, but it makes those things later in life worth the fight. What’s the point in living if there isn’t an adventure along the way? I hope you keep courage in your heart and it will guide you to the right path, and when it strays off there will people there to help you get back on it. They, and I, will never let you fall. Remember you are loved, and that your courage sometimes gives other people courage as well. You are a strong, beautiful and amazing girl…don’t ever let anyone tell you other wises.

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