A Lesson on Hypoglycemia

7 May

There’s a saying that life keeps handing you the same problem until you find the solution. Today, I learned that the hard way.

I normally eat three meals and two snacks a day, which seems to help balance my blood sugar better than three big meals. Because of the toll my eating disorder took on my body, my physician says I am still undernourished and hypoglycemic at times. Hypoglycemia is a condition that occurs when blood glucose(sugar) levels are too low, and in my case, my levels drop much faster after eating than in a normal, well-fed individual.

Today, my mom and I went on a road trip to explore some small towns outside of Austin and antique shop. I had breakfast before we went and packed a snack, but fell into the trap of believing the ED voice and wound up not eating it. My ED voice said, “You don’t want to eat the snack. You know you’ll be eating lunch soon, which will be high in calories because it will be at a restaurant. Plus, you silly girl, the food will taste better if you restrict now.” I should have ignored the voice and ate the apple and milk anyways, but I didn’t. Bad mistake.

A few hours after lunch, we had been walking around pretty much all day and although I still felt slightly satiated from lunch, I knew my blood sugar levels were dropping and I really should get something to nourish myself. Again, the eating disorder protested, “You just had lunch. If you eat again, you’ll look like a fat pig. Only obese people eat constantly. Look at Mom. See, she’s not hungry again. And do I even need to start about the extra calories in the lemonade you had at the restaurant? No siree, you don’t need anything. It’s all in your head…” But the only person who is fat is ED- a BIG, FAT LIAR. Instead of listening to my body, I went along with the story and chose to not eat an afternoon snack, too. Bad mistake.

As I sit typing this now, I have a ginormous, excruciating headache- most likely the result of not eating enough today. No matter what excuse the eating disorder comes up with, I need to eat. No matter where I am. No matter who else is not eating. No matter what I ate today at lunch, yesterday, or two months ago. ED lives in the past(“but you had extra calories in the lemonade at lunch…”) and in the future(“Oh, my god! Eat that and you will balloon…”) But there’s nothing like a migraine to bring you back to the now…

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